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Top ten sexual positions
 
Teabagging

The all time classic manoeuvre of tapping your cock on a chick's forehead
whilst she is sucking on your balls, and uttering the timeless phrase -

Who's Your daddy?"


The Houdini

Going at it doggy-style until you are just about to come, then
pull out and spit on her back so she thinks that you have. When she turns
around a blast is unleashed into her face and she is left shocked and
amazed, wondering how you managed it.


The Angry Dragon

Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack
the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up,
she'll look like an angry dragon.


Cum Guzzling Sperm Burping Bitch

The once in a lifetime act of blowing a hot steamy load down the
back of a girl's throat and then proceeding to give her a large cold
bottle of your favourite carbonated drink, making her guzzle it down.
Then, shake her head vigorously back and forth to create the Cum Guzzling,
Sperm Burping effect. A great way to impress your friends.


Dirty Sanchez

A time honoured event in which while laying the bone
doggy-style, you insert your finger into her a*shole. You then pull it out
and wipe it across her upper lip, leaving a thin sh*t moustache. This
makes her look like someone whose name is Dirty Sanchez.


The Donkey Punch

Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, you
stick your dick in her ass and then punch her in the back of the neck.
The blow to the neck will stun the muscles in the female's ass,
which will constrict the p*nis and give you a tremendous orgasmic
experience when you ejaculate.


The Flaming Amazon

This one's for all you pyromaniacs out there. When you're
screwing some chick, right when your about to cum, pull out and quickly
grab the nearest lighter and set her pubes on fire, then...extinguish the
flames with your jizz!


The Flying Camel

A personal favourite. As she is lying on her back and you are
hammering her on your knees, you very carefully move forward and prop
yourself (without using your arms) on your dick while it is still inserted
in her vertical seafood taco. You then proceed to flap your arms and let
out a long shrieking howl, much like a flying camel. Strictly a classy
move.


The Screwnicorn

When a dyke puts her strap-on dildo on her forehead and proceedsto go at
her partner like a crazed unicorn.


The Zombie Mask

While getting head from your favourite, unsuspecting, trash-barrel whore,
tell her you want her to look right up at you with those "pretty
little eyes" when you blow your load. Then, just when you're ready to
spew a good weeks worth of goo, blast that hefty load in both eyes. This
temporary state of blindness will produce the zombie effect as she
stumbles around the room with arms outstretched, and moaning like the walking dead.
Submitted By: Anonymous...




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