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The Executive and the Old Redneck

A successful and well-dressed executive was on his way home from an important business meeting when he had a flat tire. He was alone, stranded in redneck country, and had no way of reaching help; even his cell phone wouldn't work.

Then he saw an old redneck walking towards him.

"Well, hey there, young fella, I guess you need some help now, don't ya? Lemme take a look at yer car!"

So the executive got out of his red BMW and thanked the redneck, who was lokking under the hood.

"Whew! Now that doesn't look too good!" said the redneck, when he closed the hood.

"Why? What do you mean?" said the executive. "I have a flat tire, that's all..."

"No siree bob! Your whole engine is in bad shape! I'm gonna fix it up fer ya!"

"Oh..thank you.." said the executive and the redneck came back with tools and a new tire. In 30 minutes he was finished. The executive pulled out his wallet and was getting his checkbook out...

"Sorry, mister...I don't take no checks..or credit cards..." His smile had vanished.

The executive looked stunned. "But...but I don't have anything else! Please, I'm a wealthy man. I..."

"Now you gonna pay me?" said the redneck.

"I don't know!"

After looking over the impeccably dressed, handsome and dignified city executive in his $3,000 navy blue pinstriped suit, carefully knotted red silk tie, starched white shirt, silver cufflinks and black dress shoes polished like mirrors, $1,000 briefcase and hundred dollar haircut, the redneck said "I think we can make a deal" and he pointed at the executive's shoes.

"I'll take them fancy shoes, and the socks, too!"

The redneck grinned, and the executive's mouth dropped open. "These are $500 shoes! They were made for me!"

"Well, you ain't got no choice, boy! You OWE me!!"

The executive begged and pleaded, but finally he recahed over, untied and pulled off his polished black shoes. He couldn't believe he was handing over his expensive business shoes to this hillbilly. The redneck grabbed them and looked them over. "Mighty fine, young fella! All shined up! They're gonna look great on me! Now get them socks off!"

The executive reached under his tailored cuffs and with a red face, pulled off his Armani black dress socks.

The redneck grabbed them and admired them. "Look at 'em! What they call DEEziner socks! You city boys sure know how to dress! You sure look funny now, though, in yer bare feet with that fancy city suit and necktie."

The executive pleaded: "Have I paid you now?"

The redneck walked over and said: "I'll take this, too" and he pulled out the silk pocket handkerchief from the suit pocket. "And this!" He pointed at the Hermes tie.

"NO! NO!" said the executive.

""Boy, Ill get the sheriff on you, and you'll stay in his jail fer a few weeks fer not payin' up! Now take off that nice tie, and them cufflinks, and the Rolex."

The executive sighed and took off his $200 silk necktie and $400 cufflinks. Then he said something sarcastic he woudl always regret...

"I don't know what someone like you wants with a necktie anyway...I'm the one who is wearing an Armani business suit..."

The redneck grinned and said: "Ya know yer right. Yer the one with the dignity and I'm jest scum. Well, I guess yer gonna have to strip out of that fancy suit, too and hand it over, and them suspenders and the shirt, too"

The executive begged, but it was no use. He took off and handed over his $3,000 business suit and his starched white shirt and suspenders.

The redneck threw him a pair of overalls to replace the suit and tie, and a pair of old sneakers to replace his dress shoes. "Pleasure doin' business with you, fella", as the formerly well-dressed executive ran to his car and drove off.

The redneck returned to his gas station and a friend drove up for gas, "That'll be $5.50," and his friend pulled out a check.

Submitted By: Bill Johnson