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Couples Humor
 
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."

The woman says, "I'll miss you."

*~*~*~*~*

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"

"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

*~*~*~*~*

He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you really badly.

She said - Well, you succeeded.

*~*~*~*~*

On wall in ladies room "My husband follows me everywhere.

Written just below it "I do not."

*~*~*~*~*

He said - Should we try swapping positions tonight?

She said - That's a good idea...you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.

*~*~*~*~*

He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?

She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

*~*~*~*~*

A couple who's been married for over 20 years were having a fight in the car during a trip for a holiday.

After arguing for a moment, they decided to quit talking and silence ruled.

Then after a few minutes, they passed some pigs in a farm, all making horrible noises. The wife looks at her husband and gives a sinister grin and says, "Relatives of yours?"

The husband replied "Yep, in-laws
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