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You know yours is a Red Neck Church if

Upon learning that Jesus fed the 5000, the men
want to know whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and
what bait was used to catch 'em.

The finance committee refuses to provide funds
for the purchase of a chandelier because none
of the members knows how to play one.

The pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help
take up the offering." Then five guys and two women
stand up.

Opening day of deer season is recognized as an
official church holiday.

A member of the church requests to be buried in
his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been
in a hole it couldn't get out of."

The choir is known as the "OK Chorale."

In a congregation of 500 members, there are only
seven last names in the church directory.

Baptism is referred to as "Branding."

There is a special bake sale to raise funds for a
new church septic tank.

High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to
howling.

The baptismal font is a #2 galvanized wash tub.

The choir robes were donated by Billy Bob's Bar-B-Q,
and are embroidered with his logo.

The collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.

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