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Random Humor
 
What's the best form of birth control after 50?

Nudity.
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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a
wife?

45 lbs.
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What's the difference between a boyfriend and a
husband?

45 minutes.
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How many women does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.
***************
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive,
caring, and good looking?

Because those men already have boyfriends.
**************

What's the difference between a new husband and a new
dog?

After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
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What makes men chase women they have no intention of
marrying?

The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no
intention of driving.
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What do you call a smart blonde?

A golden retriever.
**************

Why does the bride always wear white?

Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and
refrigerator.
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A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who
has the biggest boobs?

The blonde, because she's 18.
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What is the quickest way to clear out a men's
restroom?

Say, "Nice Dick."
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Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?

Because they have cotton balls.
*************

What did the blonde say when she found out she was
pregnant?

"Are you sure it's mine?"
**************

What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?

Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a
buck.

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Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?

Mace will do that to you.
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Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?

Everyone has the same DNA.
**************

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter
than the other?

A speech impediment.
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Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

Breasts don't have eyes.
***************

What's the difference between a Southern zoo, and a
Northern zoo?

Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the
cage, along with a recipe.
***************

What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a
Southern fairytale?

Northern fairytale begins with "Once upon a time..."
Southern fairytale begins with "You ain't gonna believe
this sh*t...."
Submitted By: Anonymous...




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